The art of communication is critical in business, with our children, and with our relationships with our spouse. In your marriage, there are innumerable cases where you thought you said something but your spouse heard something else. This article will take a look at some of the possible causes of this type of miscommunication and attempt to provide you with tools that you can use to help you interact better with your wife or husband.

Who are You?

There are endless venues for personality profiles, Jungian analyses and other ways of "profiling" people. I won't attempt to state with any certainty that any one "metric" can quantify all of the complexities of a human being. I can however say that it is my experience that people can be analyzed and relatively common patterns can be found. This allows us not to "categorize" people but it does allow for us to self-analyze and analyze those closest to us to see if there are ways that we can simply understand them better. Once we are able to put ourselves into the shoes of the other person, we are far more able to start communicating... in a way where they actually hear and understand what we are saying.

Drivers

You can call these people all sorts of things, including dynamic, energetic, direct, blunt, leader, asshole, it all pretty much fits. This type of person loves to jump out in front, take charge, and roar toward the exit, with a slew of followers in tow. You will find these people starting businesses, failing, and then starting another one. You can tell they are at a party because they are in the spotlight and basking in the attention. You can hear them down the hall because they are the bull in the china shop and something's getting broken. They crave respect however and don't mind being challenged, especially as they are taking huge risks, the consequences bedamned.

Analytics

Calm, cautious, and private, the analytics take their time to research the details. They know that slow and steady wins the battle so when you agree with them and they feel safe around you, they will include you in their plans, but if you confront them in front of others, they will simply go silent... completely silent. These are the people with the cool poker face who can wait forever as other risk takers crash around them while the examine what worked and what didn't so when they finally decide to make that leap, they are prepared and already know what the outcome is going to be.

Expressives

This type of person is the life of the party and is immensely entertaining. They talk with their hands and can light up a living room or a board room with the excitement of their plans. They are so exhuberant that they can talk to anyone, be friends with complete strangers, and forget your name in the next five minutes. They are generally in the spotlight but hate being challenged in front of others. They don't bend to demands and need to be negotiated with. They can have an awful temper. They don't mind taking risks, but don't handle failure very well.

Amiables

Sometimes people just want to be loved, and these people fit that mold. They are endearing, helpful, cheerful, and careful. They can't stand being wrong, and generally avoid the spotlight anyway, so they leave big, risky decisions to others and are quite happy just tagging along for the ride. They need to be negotiated with, even though they are not demanding. When asked to do something, they far prefer their privacy and choose to be left alone whenever possible so they can fulfill their obligations without scrutiny. They need to be needed.